Incoming Zinger

Just got this from Dan Dwyer.

At #2 station Dennis Leslie had apparently eaten too much for dinner. According to Dan to the tune of 2 or 3 plates full. While  they were doing dishes Dan says John Swan made the comment, "Woogie takes a beatin' and keeps on eatin'.

Swannee always was a quick wit.

I remember one time he told me that most marriages were made in a garden. Not his, he claimed. It was made in a junk yard..lol.

Zinger #3

Some of you reading this will most likely remember the “Afro” haircuts back in the 70’s.  At the time it seemed everyone with hair in the department had to go out and get this new “do”. The only intelligent ones who decided against it were the ladies who were employed there at the time. So much for the male gene for intelligence being  dominant.

 Let me describe the look: the hair was curled tightly and then a hair solution known as a permanent was applied. The successful results appeared like those in the picture (inset). Well kind of. They even had these special combs called ‘picks’ that were used to fluff out the “Do” to enormous proportions. The hair defied gravity.

Guys were flocking to the hairdressers like lemmings flying over the nearest cliff! Most results were fantastic! Some should have had serious reconsideration. Most of the guys looked like they should be dancing on the old TV program Soul Train and acted like they must be interviewed by the host of the show Don Cornelius. I swear one time out in the parking lot at headquarters I heard a group of the guys in a van lip syncing to Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes: Please Don’t Leave Me This Way! 

Not to be outdone I had the audacity to think that I might look not half bad myself if I gathered enough courage to go and have the latest “Do” myself. At the conclusion of the procedure I took a look in the mirror “...WOW...not bad”, I thought. Not perfect; but, still not too bad.

The day came when I was on duty in line up...wearing my cap so nobody could see my new “Do”.  So exciting!!!!!

I walked into the dining room at Headquarters with my new “Do” revealed for all to see.

I never realized until that very moment that a very receding hairline was not a good look for the new”Do”.  My hair was NOT defying gravity!!!! Actually it appeared like a forest that had been strip mined!

Here is where the Zinger took birth.

Ron Jones took one look at me and programmed the Zinger. He hit the fire button and said.

 “Hey Lodge... that isn't an Afro.....it’s a “Halfro”...

If I still lived in Windsor and was in his riding I would never vote for him... just sayin’ >8- )

(Just Kidding)

Zinger #2

This event occurred at the new #2 during the middle of the afternoon.  Dennis Axford was explaining to the guys how he had visited a friend of his one afternoon at said friend’s apartment building. Apparently his friend was the manager of the building and was concerned because one of the tenants had a bad habit of not paying the rent on time. Dennis explained that during the visit his friend had asked him to accompany him to the tenant’s apartment to collect the rent. When Dennis asked him why he needed him to assist him his friend replied, “Well...if things get out of control or heat up I might need you for “backup”.

Dennis had obviously refused because he said to us around the table, “Hey, look at this face; I can’t afford to get it messed up”. Dennis had apparently thought of himself somewhat as a heartthrob at the time and compared himself with other handsome leading men such as Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. J I always thought he looked more like Woody Allen myself.

My mind cleared at that moment and I could actually picture myself throwing the Zinger when the timing was perfect.

Like a perfectly timed moment in history the opportunity opened up when Dennis began to speak. Not realizing what was about to happen he made the following remark, “I have no idea why the guy would ask me up there if he knew I wasn't a street fighter! What was he thinking?”

The Zinger left its comfortable place and sped towards the target with precise accuracy.

I replied, “The guy probably wanted to use the jawbone of an ass for protection.”

Dennis’ jawbone dropped and one of the senior guys even got up and shook my hand, “Good one, Lodge”, he laughed.

Come to think about it I haven’t seen Dennis for some time now. Hummmm.

Zinger #1

After dinner at the old #2 station guys were  pouring coffee when all of us got involved in a discussion whether or not rock and roll bands used drugs during their concerts. The conversation was basically between Pat Cushing and Ron Perreault with others adding to the conversation with all their collective intelligence. I heard a quote one time that    clearly illustrates this particular point in time during this discussion. The poet Keats once said, "I have seen a group amass a thimble full of knowledge". A fitting statement at this particular time. 

Now before we go any further it was a well known fact that Ron was an accomplished musician and possessed a great set of vocal chords. Also it was a known fact that Ron DID NOT  use drugs at any time. 

It seems the best form of Zinger is one that slants the truth somewhat : ) Ron made the point that successful rock  bands couldn't function properly on drugs during a concert because of the extreme concentration required at the time. Pat saw the perfect timing for his zinger and fired away! It flew between 5 guys on either side of the table and landed with  perfect accuracy! He actually accused Ron of using  drugs simply  because Ron was a musician! Ron was incensed at the accusation (well, not really incensed; but, rather a little “annoyed’ at the remark). Ron stated, “You’re wrong, Pat... I've never used drugs at any time!”. Pat waited until Ron defended himself and retorted, “Oh really? Well it’s 5:30 now and you haven’t blinked since Noon!” 

 Even Ron ended up laughing at this one. Pat-1 Ron-0

More to come when I set the scopes on other Zingers. Have a good day, everyone.

Zingers

You know what “zingers” are, right? Those sarcastic short one liners that are directed at someone to embarrass  them.  Zingers were and probably still are pretty active around the dinner table in most fire halls. Evan Fournier probably said it best a few years ago.

"Sarcasm is a refuge for the weak and feeble minded." 

A few Zingers coming soon.

Hopefully Back

Well, things have finally slowed down and it looks a little more like "retirement" for us. I have a few ideas about resurrecting the Blog. So watch for a few new stories coming your way. It's really hard to tell if they are true or if I actually made them up. Stay tuned, folks.