Zingologists by Ron Perreault

I recently received this one from Ron Perreault (my old boss...emphasis on "old"...lol... sorry for the delay Ron...pretty busy lately. Anyway...here we go

Jack;

        Your recent expose on zingers has stirred some long dormant figments of my melancholy memories of growing up in the wfd. Therefore, I feel driven to make a list of my all time favourite zingologists. I feel privileged to say that each of them took at least one shot at me (sometimes even to my face) and I know that many of your readers can say the same. So now, and in no particular order, it is my privilege to submit to you my nominations for a Doctorate in Zingology

1. The old Ottawa House Gang led by Des Mackenzie and Jack Gregg. (Boy these           guys could cut and they were the kings of the one liners)

2. Ken Rusling. (Ken was either taught by the Ottawa House Gang or by Pitou at #2

    I was never sure which but he was good with the comeback)

3. Terry Murphy. (Fast with nicknames and comic one liners but sometimes he  would wind himself up)

4. Joe Kato. (It wasn't so much that Joe was good but he would always end up shooting himself)

5. Bob Cooper. (Fast, caustic and pure pleasure but his victims always seem to end  up standing next to a dead spot)

6. Gerry Fader. (Part of his secret was that you were never sure if he was kidding or not and you were afraid to ask)

7. Bob Sorrell (Fast, deep and deadly. I don't know what they meant but guys use to say "Don't leave the room") (edited by Jack: Dave Stroud said you had to back out of the room)

8. Mike Anderson (A combination of the warmth of Don Rickles and the sense of         humour of Rodney Dangerfield)

9. Pat Burke (Long before the Deputy and Chief and Fire Marshal days was a brash         young silver-tongued young man with patches on his butt against the system.

10. Bob Tapak. (This ones for you Jack----------------------------------------- I'll let you fill in the blanks) (Jack: Too many to mention in this space.)

        Of course their are many more experts in the kingdom of zingdom, but I will leave it to your devoted readers for submission. Meanwhile it's almost time for my medicine. (No wonder I don't like to leave the house anymore, l think I'm shell shocked)

Take care guys and yes I miss all of you. Looking back, it was fun.

Ron Perreault

Incoming Zinger

Just got this from Dan Dwyer.

At #2 station Dennis Leslie had apparently eaten too much for dinner. According to Dan to the tune of 2 or 3 plates full. While  they were doing dishes Dan says John Swan made the comment, "Woogie takes a beatin' and keeps on eatin'.

Swannee always was a quick wit.

I remember one time he told me that most marriages were made in a garden. Not his, he claimed. It was made in a junk yard..lol.

Zinger #3

Some of you reading this will most likely remember the “Afro” haircuts back in the 70’s.  At the time it seemed everyone with hair in the department had to go out and get this new “do”. The only intelligent ones who decided against it were the ladies who were employed there at the time. So much for the male gene for intelligence being  dominant.

 Let me describe the look: the hair was curled tightly and then a hair solution known as a permanent was applied. The successful results appeared like those in the picture (inset). Well kind of. They even had these special combs called ‘picks’ that were used to fluff out the “Do” to enormous proportions. The hair defied gravity.

Guys were flocking to the hairdressers like lemmings flying over the nearest cliff! Most results were fantastic! Some should have had serious reconsideration. Most of the guys looked like they should be dancing on the old TV program Soul Train and acted like they must be interviewed by the host of the show Don Cornelius. I swear one time out in the parking lot at headquarters I heard a group of the guys in a van lip syncing to Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes: Please Don’t Leave Me This Way! 

Not to be outdone I had the audacity to think that I might look not half bad myself if I gathered enough courage to go and have the latest “Do” myself. At the conclusion of the procedure I took a look in the mirror “...WOW...not bad”, I thought. Not perfect; but, still not too bad.

The day came when I was on duty in line up...wearing my cap so nobody could see my new “Do”.  So exciting!!!!!

I walked into the dining room at Headquarters with my new “Do” revealed for all to see.

I never realized until that very moment that a very receding hairline was not a good look for the new”Do”.  My hair was NOT defying gravity!!!! Actually it appeared like a forest that had been strip mined!

Here is where the Zinger took birth.

Ron Jones took one look at me and programmed the Zinger. He hit the fire button and said.

 “Hey Lodge... that isn't an Afro.....it’s a “Halfro”...

If I still lived in Windsor and was in his riding I would never vote for him... just sayin’ >8- )

(Just Kidding)

Zinger #2

This event occurred at the new #2 during the middle of the afternoon.  Dennis Axford was explaining to the guys how he had visited a friend of his one afternoon at said friend’s apartment building. Apparently his friend was the manager of the building and was concerned because one of the tenants had a bad habit of not paying the rent on time. Dennis explained that during the visit his friend had asked him to accompany him to the tenant’s apartment to collect the rent. When Dennis asked him why he needed him to assist him his friend replied, “Well...if things get out of control or heat up I might need you for “backup”.

Dennis had obviously refused because he said to us around the table, “Hey, look at this face; I can’t afford to get it messed up”. Dennis had apparently thought of himself somewhat as a heartthrob at the time and compared himself with other handsome leading men such as Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. J I always thought he looked more like Woody Allen myself.

My mind cleared at that moment and I could actually picture myself throwing the Zinger when the timing was perfect.

Like a perfectly timed moment in history the opportunity opened up when Dennis began to speak. Not realizing what was about to happen he made the following remark, “I have no idea why the guy would ask me up there if he knew I wasn't a street fighter! What was he thinking?”

The Zinger left its comfortable place and sped towards the target with precise accuracy.

I replied, “The guy probably wanted to use the jawbone of an ass for protection.”

Dennis’ jawbone dropped and one of the senior guys even got up and shook my hand, “Good one, Lodge”, he laughed.

Come to think about it I haven’t seen Dennis for some time now. Hummmm.

Zinger #1

After dinner at the old #2 station guys were  pouring coffee when all of us got involved in a discussion whether or not rock and roll bands used drugs during their concerts. The conversation was basically between Pat Cushing and Ron Perreault with others adding to the conversation with all their collective intelligence. I heard a quote one time that    clearly illustrates this particular point in time during this discussion. The poet Keats once said, "I have seen a group amass a thimble full of knowledge". A fitting statement at this particular time. 

Now before we go any further it was a well known fact that Ron was an accomplished musician and possessed a great set of vocal chords. Also it was a known fact that Ron DID NOT  use drugs at any time. 

It seems the best form of Zinger is one that slants the truth somewhat : ) Ron made the point that successful rock  bands couldn't function properly on drugs during a concert because of the extreme concentration required at the time. Pat saw the perfect timing for his zinger and fired away! It flew between 5 guys on either side of the table and landed with  perfect accuracy! He actually accused Ron of using  drugs simply  because Ron was a musician! Ron was incensed at the accusation (well, not really incensed; but, rather a little “annoyed’ at the remark). Ron stated, “You’re wrong, Pat... I've never used drugs at any time!”. Pat waited until Ron defended himself and retorted, “Oh really? Well it’s 5:30 now and you haven’t blinked since Noon!” 

 Even Ron ended up laughing at this one. Pat-1 Ron-0

More to come when I set the scopes on other Zingers. Have a good day, everyone.

Zingers

You know what “zingers” are, right? Those sarcastic short one liners that are directed at someone to embarrass  them.  Zingers were and probably still are pretty active around the dinner table in most fire halls. Evan Fournier probably said it best a few years ago.

"Sarcasm is a refuge for the weak and feeble minded." 

A few Zingers coming soon.

Hopefully Back

Well, things have finally slowed down and it looks a little more like "retirement" for us. I have a few ideas about resurrecting the Blog. So watch for a few new stories coming your way. It's really hard to tell if they are true or if I actually made them up. Stay tuned, folks.

RIP Mario

I saw this on Facebook and thought I would put it up on the Blog for everyone. Mario was very well respected and loved by those who knew him. Good bye Mario.

Ok... so we receive all these emails from the guys saying "Don't send me any emails during these weeks or months because we're vacationing, on the road, camping, etc." Sounds like fun so Jeannie and I took your advice and bought a gently used Class A motor home. A few pics below. All tips appreciated! : )

Sometimes we should never judge a book by its cover, Enough said. Take a look at the video below and you'll most likely be smiling by the end of it.

Hey, found this on Facebook....pretty neat. Click on the lower right corner to go full screen when it starts to play. Enjoy the memories  )

New Station 7.

Well...here it is. The brand new Station 7.

Street View

interesting what you can find in Street View on Google Earth : ) Can you say, "BIG BROTHER"?

Mongo & Family

This is a fascinating video of Mongo and the family. You'll notice Mongo is mostly sitting during the encounter.

Best Train Set in the World

I think every kid would love to get this train set on Christmas morning : )

Hello from Panama

hey.... 31 here and wishing you were here....(ya, right) ...lol

Q's Hero

I received an anonymous email the other day informing me that the Lakeshore Fire Department had hired a new deputy chief! When I discovered who it was I was amazed. It was none other than JOHN QUENNELL!!! When I dialed his number to congratulate John I was surprised that the message on the voice mail was the voice of none other than Bob Tapak. I was startled when I heard this message: “Hello, you have reached the office of John Quennell’s spokesperson and mentor, Captain, District Chief, Assistant Chief, Real Chief and over all Grand Poobah Robert Tapak. All phone messages for Deputy Chief Quennell are now being filtered through this office for advisement. Have a great day!”

I visited Bob at his residence to investigate this strange occurrence and was surprised when Mongo answered the door. I politely asked the furry one what he was doing at Bob’s residence. He smiled at me with that strange Chewbacca smile of his and stated, “Well, Bob is now my life coach and mentor. When I heard what he did for Deputy Chief Quennell I was next in line for his services. What is so special about Bob’s services?”, I asked. A glassy-eyed look appeared over Mongo’s deep brown eyes as he spoke in an almost hero worshipping lilting voice, “Bob is simply amazing; he has had so much experience with other retired firefighters obtaining various positions after their retirement that he has become the Guru of positioning himself at the right place at exactly the right time. He is another Bill Gates as far as I’m concerned. He has just recently taught me to position myself to get ready for the day that I retire that I can become a deputy chief or even a real chief if I wanted it bad enough!”, he swooned. I could tell that Bob had read and seen the now famous book and DVD,” The Secret”. When I left Bob’s residence I saw Mongo at the computer Googling photos of Bob throughout his career. Bob had finally reached the status of hero worship with the famous chimpanzee.

On a closing note, The Windsor Star has made a valiant effort to archive all the sepia toned photographs of Chief Tapak during his 92 year career with numerous fire departments across the province. I recently saw one of him taken with none other than Thomas Edison at Menlo Park.

More on Engine 3

I received the following from Bob Cooper after I posted the photo of old engine 3 on the blog. What follows is a new photo from Bob and his experience as a young child. This is not meant to be humorous; but, rather a warm hearted story about a young kid that had a dream. Enjoy.

OK LODGE, LET ME SEND YOU A REAL PICTURE OF ENG-3 ALONG WITH A LITTLE PERSONAL HISTORY. WHEN I WAS A LITTLE TYKE,WE LIVED ON THE 8OO BLOCK OF MOY AVE. ONE COLD NIGHT I HEARD THE SCREAMING SOUNDS OF A SIREN APPROACHING OUR STREET AND UP PULLED THIS BEAUTIFUL BIG RED MONSTER OF A FIRE ENGINE THAT STOPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE AND STRETCHED LINES TO A WORKING FIRE IN THE HOUSE DIRECTLY IN ACROSS THE STREET FROM US. I REMEMBER RUNNING OUT IN THE STREET IN MY PJ'S AND BARE FEET TO GET CLOSE TO THE ACTION. I WAS HOOKED. I KNEW WHAT I WANTED TO DO FOR A LIVING. SHIVERING IN THE COLD, I WATCHED THE WHOLE PROCESS UNTIL IT WAS KNOCKED DOWN. ONE YOUNG FIREFIGHTER SEEING ME SHAKING BAREFOOT IN THE ROAD, SAT ME ON THE TAILGATE OF THE OLD, THEN NEW ENG 3 WHERE I WAS WARMED BY THE EXHAUST BLASTING FROM UNDERNEATH. THAT YOUNG FIREFIGHTER TURNED OUT TO BE, AS I LATER FOUND OUT, TO BE HERM. LEMIRE. AFTER THAT EYE OPENING NIGHT EVERY TIME I HEARD # 2 LEAVING ON A RUN I WOULD JUMP ON MY BIKE AND RACE OVER TO WALKER AND RICHMOND JUST TO WATCH THAT BIG RED BEAST BACK INTO THE STATION .AS I STOOD NEXT TO THE FENDER,THE TOP MY HEAD CAME TO THE TOP OF THE HUGE FRONT TIRE. .YEARS PASSED AND AFTER MUCH PRAYING AND SUCKING UP,I WAS HIRED ON AND I GOT TO HANG ON TO THE BACK OF THAT BIG FAST RED BEAST. AS TIME WENT ON, I WENT FROM HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE TO GETTING BEHIND THE WHEEL. HOWEVER,I WAS NEVER SURE WHETHER I WAS DRIVING THE ENG.OR WAS IT DRIVING ME. IT WAS AS FAST AS HELL AND AFTER MANY YEARS OF GRINDING A POUND OF METAL OFF THE GEARS,I WAS PROMOTED TO THE RIGHT SEAT AS SIREN PUSHER AND WAS MADE RESPONSIBLE FOR LOOKING AFTER CLOWNS LIKE YOU. SO HERE'S A REAL GOOD PHOTO OF THIS AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL MACHINE THAT CHANGED MY LIFE....LOVE YA.. COOP..

Old Engine 3

Bill McLeese sent me this photo of old engine 3. I can't believe we used to ride the back of this antique!! BTW....today is November 15! On this very day back in 1971 Bernie Glabb, Bob Waranchak, John Verbeem, Doug Hussey, Randy Meyer and myself started on the department. I think most of us were older than Engine 3 at the time :)

I received this the other day from Cindy Hillis. Most of you remember Jack. Her comments are below and a couple of photos of Jack in WW 11.

Hi Jack. Here is a little more information on my dad, Jack Hillis Dad turned 90 years old on Oct. 20. He is now the oldest living retired fire fighter in Windsor. He gets a kick out of telling people that. He was retired 30 years on Oct. 20 He had 4 children, 4 grandchildren and just became a great grandfather for the second time 5 days ago. Cindy Hillis