WFD on TV

The WFD and the Combat Challenge team will be featured on a half hour program on channel 56 PBS Detroit on Sunday at 5:30 PM. It's in the paper and I just listened to CBC radio and they had the producers on and they talked about it.
I think the program is called Get Connected.

Betty's Chainsaw Adventure

Betty Patterson, pictured at right, wields her chainsaw in Lavender Forest. Betty "Chainsaw Massacre" Patterson drops the gauntlet and challenges any Fire station in Windsor to a chainsaw competition. "I'm ready right now... Bring it on!!!", yells Betty.

Childrens Science Test Answers

Better than a cup of coffee to start your morning....If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g. abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts---the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the boraxcontains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. (I do love this one...)

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a distric t in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Tool Sell Off

Hey, we’re moving and I need to get rid of these tools..




Bench Grinder $40
Band Saw $50
Router Table $15
Bench Sander $20 (Photo not available at present time)

All items OBO

Email me at jlodge4@cogeco.ca if interested.

Company Picnic Memo

Subject: Company Picnic

Because of insurance liability, you will be limited to ONE drink per person at the company picnic. Please drink responsibly.

The Talking Dog

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running." "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in." "I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

Oklahoma Firefighter Dies of Burns - Firehouse.com In The Line Of Duty

Oklahoma Firefighter Dies of Burns - Firehouse.com In The Line Of Duty:

Updated: 03-27-2006 04:30:21 PM

SUSAN NICOL KYLE
Firehouse.com News

Funeral services are set for Thursday for an Oklahoma firefighter who died Friday of burns and injuries sustained earlier this month in a wildfire.

Destry Horton, 32, a career firefighter with the City of Chickasha Fire and EMS, was seriously burned on March 1 when his fire truck became stuck in the midst of a wildfire."

Ask Arp

Question: Why do people die in alphabetical order?
Arp: Because they are born that way.

Question: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
Arp: Because they all own phones

Question: When are you going to retire?
Arp: I think I will be like the flasher and stick it out one more year.

Question: What is the worst job you ever had?
Arp: One summer I tested rectal thermometers. I kind of enjoyed it after a while.

Question: What is the most exciting thing to happen to your family?
Arp: My uncle got a vasectomy and paid for it with his Mastercard. When he didn't pay his bill they came and knocked up his wife.

The Old Band Leader

Here's a photo of Terry Murphy with the Scarlet Brigade band. I think Terry is doing his best to imitate James Bond... This is around 1975 or so. But he does look rather dashing does he not? I wonder where he parked his Aston Martin DB7?

Pennsylvania Firefighter Collapses On-Duty

Pennsylvania Firefighter Collapses On-Duty - Firehouse.com In The Line Of Duty:
Funeral Information Below

Updated: 03-24-2006 03:13:17 PM

ERIC BROOKS
Firehouse.com News

A Pennsylvania Firefighter has died in the line of duty. The night of March 21, he incurred a fatal heart attack while performing Fire Company related activities alongside his car.

Barry R. Levin, 58, was a charter member of the Glen Richie Fire Company in Lawrence Township. A present-day safety officer, he had previously volunteered as chief from 1978-2004, and was an active member of the Glen Richie Response Service since its inception in 1990."

Light Travels Faster Than Sound

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright..... until you hear them speak.........

Inanimate Objects Sex

1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while towarm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the rightbuttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to thebottom.
9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn'tyou? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push he keeps trying!

Special Bulletin

Special Bulletin from the Pentagon


The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces.


These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, S. Illinois, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Red Cross Says Thank You

Red Cross says thank you while reminding Canadians that disasters happen here too.

Windsor/ Essex County Branch, 3909 Grand Marais E Windsor ON Phone 519-944-8144 Fax 519-974-1424

March is Red Cross Month and the Red Cross is thanking Canadians for their overwhelming support for international disaster relief efforts, while calling on public support for disaster preparedness efforts in Canada.

When a family has a personal disaster such as being driven from their home by fire, Red Cross volunteers are on the scene to provide for their immediate needs for up to 72 hours. When a community-wide disaster occurs such as flooding, severe weather, or a train derailment, the Red Cross works closely with governments and other response agencies to deliver swift and effective help.

Last year the Windsor /Essex County Branch of Red Cross responded to 27 Personal Disaster calls and served 45 adults and 15 children through a network of trained volunteers

The Red Cross also notes that one of the most effective ways to minimize the impact of disaster on individuals and communities is through preparedness

The past year was marked by natural disasters on a scale rarely seen. The generosity of Canadians enabled the Red Cross to respond swiftly with meaningful help for those affected by the tsunamis in south Asia, the hurricanes in the US and the earthquake in Pakistan. When you see disaster, not only across the world but right here in Canada, you will also see the Red Cross.

For more information about disaster preparedness, other Red Cross programs and services or to donate please visit www.redcross.ca or contact your local Red Cross office 519-944-8144

Washington Firefighter Dies After Water Training Outing - Firehouse.com In The Line Of Duty

Washington Firefighter Dies After Water Training Outing - Firehouse.com In The Line Of Duty:

Updated: 03-22-2006 03:23:50 PM

SUSAN NICOL KYLE
Firehouse.com News

Courtesy of the Ocean Shores Fire and Emergency Care Department


The Ocean Shores community in Washington is struggling with the loss of one of its most admired residents, a leader known for his dedication to training.

Capt. Rob McLaughlin, 40, died Wednesday, of injuries suffered Monday during a water training exercise with the Ocean Shores Fire Department."

True Confessions

Ok, Bob Tapak gave me the idea to do this! First of all, I hate to admit that. In a recent email he pointed out that while I was poking fun at a few of you out there that maybe I should tell a few stories that I was responsible for as well. After long and careful thought I have decided to take "Bobby Bohunk's" advice and tell some stories; thus the title "True Confessions". I'll probably do this once a week until I decide whether or not to listen to Bob anymore.

The Adventure of the Fog Lights

Around 1977 or 78 Bob & I were working at #7 station. After all the humongous amount of housework and training was finished I was installing a pair of fog lights on my '76 Ford Econoline. Bob kept coming out to see how my progress was doing and he kept smiling whenever he checked out the work. I couldn't figure out why Bob kept grinning until I was finally finished. After drilling holes in the bumper for what seemed like forever I finally installed the lights, ran the wires and was really pleased with myself when I threw the light switch on and the darned things worked. I'm a genius I thought... Why pay a mechanic when you can do it yourself!!! I sprained my arm patting myself on the back and became a legend in my own mind.
It was at this very time that Bob made his final appearance and deflated my ego with one statement: "So, Lodge, how are the other drivers going to tell which way you're turning if you covered your turn signals with the fog lights?"
It's at times like those that you wish you could wind back the clock and start all over again.... When I was finally finished removing the fog lights and re drilling my van bumper resembled a seive... You could have strained vegetables through it! I developed a complex shortly after that. Everytime I saw Bob grinning at me I broke out into a cold sweat and wondered if I had messed up somewhere. Even to this day I can be walking through a grocery store and if Bob and I meet and he grins at me I retrace my steps to make sure the aisles are the same as I left them. Things are going great though, I only have two more visits left with my analyst.

North Carolina Firefighter Suffers Heart Attack, Dies - Firehouse.com In The Line Of Duty

North Carolina Firefighter Suffers Heart Attack, Dies - Firehouse.com In The Line Of Duty: "

Updated: 03-21-2006 09:34:42 AM

KYTJA WEIR and MICHELLE CROUCH
Courtesy of The Charlotte Observer

Courtesy of the Burke County Sheriff's Office

A Morganton law enforcement veteran died late Sunday night, two days after suffering a heart attack while trying to put out a pair of fires in his own neighborhood."

Miss Beatrice & The Bowl

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

For Sale

For Sale:

Unassembled snowman; appx 4’ high.

$14.95 per box.
(Shipping & handling inc.)

Please use Paypal if ordering online.

Mike Has The Operation

This reporter has just discovered the scoop of the century. Mike Anderson, retired Windsor firefighter and owner of the new hair salon The Bald Eagle, has reinvented himself once again. The entrepreneur has challenged himself to the ultimate dare. Mike has had the final stage of his surprise operation and is planning a party for the new person that he has become.

When asked about this new challenge Mike declared, "I was fed up with the old me! I always knew that I was a popular cheery type of guy; but, there was something missing deep within my heart." Some might have thought that rugged Mike might never have had a heart in the first place. But that is another story. Mike continued, "Well, when I did some deep soul searching for about 8 minutes I discovered that there was someone else deep inside me that was crying to get out!"

Continuing with the interview this reporter was astonished that Mike was legally thinking of changing his name! Mike stated,"Yes, this is true.. my new name is going to me Michelle or Mickey. I haven't decided which one fits me more." Mike then asked this reporter which one should he use but I declined because of a conflict of interest. Actually Mike looks pretty stunning in his sequined runners and red shorts.

When asked how the salon was doing Mike said, "Ohhhhh, it's just wonderful. I feel so much better managing it now that I am a new person. The patrons and I get along fabulously as we gossip about the locals and we also trade recipes with each other."

Relating a recent happening Mike shared the story of a lady that was a first time visitor to his salon and had a case of mistaken identity. The lady inadvertently asked Mike for his autograph thinking that he was Jennifer Lopez. "I was just ever so stunned", gasps Mike as he tosses his hair over his left shoulder, "What an honor it was. Even with her "coke bottle" glasses the lady could still tell the resemblance."

When last seen Mike was heading for the ladies room humming "Somewhere Over The Rainbow"