Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Rudy & Judy's Drive in Liquor Lounge

What began as a simple thought has developed into a grand idea according to Rudy Heinnekin (spelling may vary).Who knew?”, states Rudy. “As I was having fun with a salt lick the other day I was daydreaming about a drive through LCBO store and here we are opening our first one!”, laughed Rudy.

“I can only imagine how this whole thing will turn out”, sighs Rudy, “Judy will have to work the cash register…. Lord knows I can’t since my darned hooves get in the way…Every time I go to use it I find myself hitting about 5 or 6 keys at once. I really envy you folks with fingers and thumbs! Heck, I even have to ask junior to open a bottle of beer for me

When last seen Rudy was returning to his salt lick searching his mind for another entrepreneurial venture. Maybe installing escalators in Deer Stands… but thought better of it.. !

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Highway Of Heroes

Maybe you've seen this one before but it sure tugs at the heartstrings... for the other heroes overseas... This was originally a PowerPoint presentation but I converted it so we could show it on the Blog.... Watch and be proud.

ps....don't forget your kleenex

Monday, April 06, 2009

Ahhh... Another Ken Racine Story

Apparently there are a few more Ken Racine stories floating around out there. Tommy White sent this one along...All I'm doing is cutting and pasting. You can't make this stuff up. LOL

Hi Jack

You opened the door for Rat stories........... It was a quiet summer day and we were preparing for lunch at #2 when an alarm came in for a house fire on Ottawa St across from Lansbury Park. We responded with smoke showing and lines being laid. Police soon showed to explain this was a known dope dealers place. Lots of police and the regular utilities. As things were settling down our very own inspector cluso, I mean Racine arrived. Everyone was still inside, exept for the lowly nice squad driver, watching The Rat look both ways before he parked his car in a no parking zone ( across from the church ). He then proceeded inside. Well wouldn't you know it someone flagged down a metermaid and explained the difficulty of finding room to park emergency vehicles when people who just don't care park in no parking zones.

The crews returned and we were free to return but when everyone found out there was a ticket on the Rats own car....we waited. He came out and blew his stack and called that metermaid some dandy names. Then he saw the squad parked there laughing. He is an inspector he had it figured immediately. He came running and pounded on the hood and threatened to kill me. I don't know how he figured it out so fast...he still hits me at the retirement banquet to let me know he never forgets........

Saturday, April 04, 2009

A Story About Ken Racine and The Raccoon Tail

It started out innocent enough. We all knew that Ken “Rats” Racine was always the last one in bed during the shift. In the dorm of the old # 2 fire station on Walker Road there shone a red light over the pole hole for the sake of safety. The “joke” on “Rats” was hatched I believe by none other than Bob Tapak and I thought it was a great idea as he described it to the rest of the crew. The plan went as follows:

“Hey, Guys”, said Bob “We all know that Ken is the last one in bed; I thought of a great joke to pull on him”. The faces around the table smiled as they began to listen to Bob’s nefarious plan. He continued, “I brought in a raccoon’s tail with me this morning”, he smiled and turned to look behind him making certain that Ken was not anywhere within listening range. Come to think of it Bob did that quite a bit over the years. He continued, “we all know how much Ken hates rats (hence the nickname). How about we tie the raccoon tail with a long string and thread it under the beds. Lodge, you’re in the first bed; when Ken goes to take off his shoes yank the thread and the tail will run over his hands and he’ll think it’s a rat.. haha!", he laughed loudly. The rest of the crew laughed along in excitement as we all pictured Rats being surprised by the raccoon tail.

I must pause here to mention the physical layout of the dorm itself. When you entered the room there was several lockers alongside the walls with two rows of beds along the walls as well. The total number of beds was app 6 or 7 on each wall. “Rat's’” bed was the last one farthest from the door and was the last bed on the left hand side of the room next to the window. My bed was the first one nearest the pole hole. When you entered the dorm to go to bed, the only light on was the dim red one over the pole hole. At first it was terribly dark but as you got used to the room you began to see much better as your eyes got adjusted to the light. In reality you could see everything in the room very clearly. The part of the joke on Rats was that everyone could see what was happening except Rats because he was the last one in bed. Now, on with my tale.

The plan, as described above, was for me to hold the string and when Ken was just about to take off his shoes I would yank on the string and the tail would then run across his hands and we would all be expecting Ken to let out with a shriek and all of us would then fall into gales of laughter.

We started to head for the bedroom about an hour before Rats would retire for the night and we talked and laughed while we anticipated Rats to turn in. I held onto the string anticipating the moment that I would scare the daylights out of Ken. My only fear was that the old guy would have a heart attack. He HATED rats! At last the moment arrived.

Ken entered the dorm very slowly and headed towards his bed at the end of the room. All of us could see very clearly and you could hear the stifled laughter and see the shaking of the beds as the crew tried to suppress their collective laughter. I waited anxiously with the string in my sweaty hands; my laughter kept at bay as I waited for the perfect moment to release the “tail” between Ken’s feet.

The time came as Ken started to untie his shoelaces and with a swift pull the raccoon tail slithered across Rat’s hands, and then came a primal scream like I had never heard before. I had never heard a man scream like that. Actually it was almost embarrassing. A roar of laughter erupted! ………… I was surprised that the only roar of laughter was coming from me! It was then when I realized that I was the one, along with Rats, who had been set up. What happened next is not very clear in my mind. I must have blocked it out of my memory. Traumatic events can sometimes cause that in people. All I can remember is Rats looking down the row of beds and with a low animalistic growling voice he called out my name; LODGE!!!! He rose from the bed like an evil malevolent figure and started loping towards my bed. I was sure I could hear cloven hooves thumping on the floor. My blood ran cold! What I experienced next is only faintly experienced by those individuals who reside in our prison system. I was beaten up by a wild man. The bed covers offered no protection whatsoever as I tried to hide under them.The sounds of heavy snorting coming from Ken was drowned out by the rest of the crews hysterical laughter.

Even to this day I fear the dark and the dim glow of red lights. I never used to check under the bed until that night. I certainly feel rather foolish doing at the age of 63.

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