Thursday, June 20, 2013

John McLeod and the Checkered Overalls

I always enjoyed working with Captain John McLeod! What I didn't like was the punishment for well timed zingers that were directed at him. I remember working with him at the new #2 station at Richmond and Walker Rd. For some reason I always got more pleasure receiving punishment when all the crew were present.

One morning during coffee after roll call I looked at John and thought, “who does he remind me of????” The thought stayed with me and during soup the answer came to me. Good grief, he resembles the Big Boy guy in front of their restaurant on Tecumseh Road. So, being fearless as I was I asked him if he needed a part time job. He replied, “Not sure; what is it?”  I answered, “Well, Cap, if you have a pair of red and white checker overalls you can stand in front of the Big Boy restaurant with a tray and work for minimum wage!”

The rest of the crew laughed but a large can of whoop ass was opened especially for me. 

Monday, June 17, 2013

Life as a Marine

Got this from Norm; a friend in a few like this but this one is the funniest in my opinion. Have fun!

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer (pictured left) the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the spots are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed 'til nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay -- practically nothing.

Men have to shave, but it's not so bad; there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food; but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys who live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon, when you get fed again.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next bit will just kill Walt and Elmer with laughter. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even have to load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, cuz they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that old bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry up and join the Marines before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter, Alice

Well...I for one think Mongo should retire by this recent picture I just received from an ex Deputy Chief...just sayin'

Zingologists by Ron Perreault

I recently received this one from Ron Perreault (my old boss...emphasis on "old" sorry for the delay Ron...pretty busy lately. we go


        Your recent expose on zingers has stirred some long dormant figments of my melancholy memories of growing up in the wfd. Therefore, I feel driven to make a list of my all time favourite zingologists. I feel privileged to say that each of them took at least one shot at me (sometimes even to my face) and I know that many of your readers can say the same. So now, and in no particular order, it is my privilege to submit to you my nominations for a Doctorate in Zingology

1. The old Ottawa House Gang led by Des Mackenzie and Jack Gregg. (Boy these           guys could cut and they were the kings of the one liners)

2. Ken Rusling. (Ken was either taught by the Ottawa House Gang or by Pitou at #2
    I was never sure which but he was good with the comeback)

3. Terry Murphy. (Fast with nicknames and comic one liners but sometimes he  would wind himself up)

4. Joe Kato. (It wasn't so much that Joe was good but he would always end up shooting himself)

5. Bob Cooper. (Fast, caustic and pure pleasure but his victims always seem to end  up standing next to a dead spot)

6. Gerry Fader. (Part of his secret was that you were never sure if he was kidding or not and you were afraid to ask)

7. Bob Sorrell (Fast, deep and deadly. I don't know what they meant but guys use to say "Don't leave the room") (edited by Jack: Dave Stroud said you had to back out of the room)

8. Mike Anderson (A combination of the warmth of Don Rickles and the sense of         humour of Rodney Dangerfield)

9. Pat Burke (Long before the Deputy and Chief and Fire Marshal days was a brash         young silver-tongued young man with patches on his butt against the system.

10. Bob Tapak. (This ones for you Jack----------------------------------------- I'll let you fill in the blanks) (Jack: Too many to mention in this space.)

        Of course their are many more experts in the kingdom of zingdom, but I will leave it to your devoted readers for submission. Meanwhile it's almost time for my medicine. (No wonder I don't like to leave the house anymore, l think I'm shell shocked)

Take care guys and yes I miss all of you. Looking back, it was fun.

Ron Perreault

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