Saturday, May 31, 2008


Has everyone heard of "I.C.E"? That's the contact name in your cell phone that EMS personnel search for when they are trying to contact your next of kin in the event that you have an auto accident or other traumatic event. "I.C.E" stands for "In Case of Emergency". When the EMS person searches your cell they automatically search for "ICE" in your contacts and then contact someone designated to that number. It's a pretty simple thing to do and would do you well to enter a phone number in case you haven't done it yet. All you have to do is choose the number and then label it ICE. Pretty simple.

A recent story of a friend in Michigan shows how the "ICE" was used. Our friend was in a health store reading the label on a product when he suddenly lost consciousness. The clerk at the store immediately called 911 and waited for the EMS to arrive. When they did they asked if anyone knew the patient to no avail. One of the EMS folks found the patient's cell phone and did a search for ICE and found it. When her cell rang his wife thought it was her husband but soon found out otherwise. Because of the ICE entry she was actually able to get to the hospital before her husband and was waiting for him when the ambulance arrived.
Check your cell phone and make sure you have ICE in your contacts.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Farmer

John, the farmer, was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets', and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Al, a very fine specimen he was too, but
on this particular morning John noticed old Al's bell hadn't rung at all! John
went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing.
The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John's amazement, old Al had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Al, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded old Al the No Bell Piece Prize but they awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly old Al was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully this year...the bells are not always audible.

What The Heck; Another Mike Anderson Joke

Hey, we havent seen or heard from Mike for quite some time now. Just recently I found this online. what a coincidence, huh? : )

Friday, May 23, 2008


Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Hey, We're Still Here

We haven't left the building.. just kind of busy for the last few weeks. We've been rather active with a new "adventure" that we're working on. Keep checking this site for an announcement coming soon.

NOW the announcement

We not only have our own complete travel site such as ,say Expedia, BUT we can also offer the same deal to you if you live in Canada, United States, Bahamas, Bermuda. Currently you can book your travel from anywhere in the world but only the above countries may be a part of YTB. However; there are plans for many more countries in the near future, YTB’s goal is to be the biggest travel network in the world by 2010 and we are on target.

If you want commissions on your travel and want the industry perks.

Check us out at

Friday, May 09, 2008

Is It Cheaper To Fly Or Drive?

It was always strange to watch Dennis Axford and Alex Lyder have a conversation at number seven station. Alex was always right and Dennis was continuously wrong. Even if you were in the front of the fire hall you could always hear Alex’s booming voice as he finished the conversation by loudly yelling in his baritone voice, “You’re wrong!!!” Most of the time this was delivered to Dennis who would become very defensive but had a hard time matching a certain degree of loudness with Alex. Needless to say, Alex won most of the arguments “back in the day”.

One particular incident comes to mind one Sunday morning as Alex was reading the Detroit Free Press newspaper. To put this all into the proper context we will have to go “back” somewhat to see what had occurred before this “famous” meeting of the “minds”.

Dennis had decided to take his family to Florida but couldn’t decide whether to take a plane down to Florida or drive the distance to the deep south. Alex was trying to advise Dennis that taking a plane was far cheaper than driving as you had to book motels, food, etc during your travel down I75. He had also forcibly pointed out that there was also the “wear and tear” on the car that had to be factored into the trip. Dennis totally disagreed and maintained that it was by far much cheaper to drive than to spend all that money on air fare.

Dennis had calculated that if should cost the average family of four approximately $320.00 to drive south while the cheapest flight that he could find came to a grand total of $375.00

Now that we all have the facts we can continue the story of the famous coup by Alex on Dennis.

While Dennis was in the washroom combing his hair (as was his normal behavior upon arrival in the morning) Alex had found an ad in the travel section for an airline flight for four to Orlando Florida for $300.00! Now, if you ever worked with Alex you would know that he loved this kind of inside information which he used to bait his prey : )

Alex smiled at everyone around the table and said, “Ok, watch this”. He then placed the page with the ad in front of the chair which Dennis would soon be sitting in. He knew that Dennis would not focus on the newspaper right away. We all chuckled as we knew what was about to occur.

Dennis entered the room and sat at the table. He looked rather dapper with his freshly combed hair, I must say. It was then that Alex started his routine. Looking at Dennis squarely he stated, “I bet you can still travel to Florida cheaper by air than by car!”. Dennis, in his wisdom, knew that he now had Alex exactly where he wanted him this time. He could smell the victory firmly within his grasp. Dennis was not famous for parting with his hard earned cash but this looked like fools play to him. We could all imagine what was going on in his mind at that moment which was, “How much cash can I take off this guy?” Dennis smiled slyly and said, “You’re on… let’s make it $5.00 shall we?” Alex quickly agreed to the bet. Alex deftly asked Dennis how much it would be to travel by car to which Dennis replied, “$320.00 and that’s a steal! The lowest price I could find by air was $375.00. Aha… pay up, You Loser…hahaha…” he laughed. At last, for what surely seemed a sure thing for Dennis, was to be short-lived. I believe he was even about to do a "victory dance" at Alex's expense. He was ecstatic for approximately 10 seconds while Alex patiently waited. Old Alex resembled a fox that was surveying his next meal.

All at once, pointing to the air line ad that Dennis had not noticed, the booming voice of Alex Lyder raised at least 10 decibels as he stood and leaned over and yelled, “YOU'RE WRONG!!!. You can fly for a measly $300.00. Take a look at the ad har har har!!!”, he laughed. It was priceless to see the look on Dennis’ face go from victory to defeat in 4 seconds.

When Dennis went to extract $5.00 from his wallet I could swear that I saw moths fly out of it.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

A Computer's Gender

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data, but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

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