Monday, June 17, 2013

Life as a Marine

Got this from Norm; a friend in Texas...read a few like this but this one is the funniest in my opinion. Have fun!

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer (pictured left) the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the spots are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed 'til nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay -- practically nothing.

Men have to shave, but it's not so bad; there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food; but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys who live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon, when you get fed again.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next bit will just kill Walt and Elmer with laughter. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even have to load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, cuz they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that old bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry up and join the Marines before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.


Your loving daughter, Alice

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