Thursday, April 06, 2006

Vernz' Dude Ranch


This reporter has recently discovered that Don "Tex" Vernz (spelling may vary) has opened a business that very well may rival those of fellow colleagues Bob Carroll and Mike (Michelle) Anderson.

When asked about his new endeavour Don beamed, "Hey, I'm twice as smart as those other two guys so I decided that I could open some kind of business too." Don explained further, "I always used to love Roy Rogers on Saturday mornings! Dale Evans used to give me goosebumps but Trigger would set my heart a flutter" coos Don. "I always used to fantasize about riding Trigger the way old Roy did.. Yahoo", sighs Don as his eyes glass over.

Taking the reporter on a tour of his newest adventure, a Dude Ranch aptly named, Spacey Acres, Don points out some of the attributes of the ranch. "Here is the restaurant where I've hired Willoughby to do all the cooking. He assures me that those days of burnt offerings are finally over.", Don stated. When asked further about Willoughby's culinary skills he said, "Willoughby explained about the guys in the firehalls penchant for filing up in the washroom after most of his meals were basically a practice of washing their hands after the meal. I asked him why most of the guys were washing their hands in the toilet and gagging at the same time he told me that they were into Eau de Toilet and had discovered a new type of after shave lotion."

As we toured the corral I noticed that most of the animals had an uncanny awareness of Don’s presence. “They love me”, sighed Don, “The horses are quite jealous of each other, you know. They sometimes fight over me trying to vie for my affections when it’s time to go for a ride.” Pointing to his favorite mare Don proclaimed, “This is Buttercup … isn’t she a beaut???” At that point Buttercup rolled her eyes at me as if to say, “Can you believe this guy?”

When last seen Don was headed back to the restaurant his silver spurs shining in the setting western sun



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