Ace Buchanan and the Switching of the Keys

Way back in the early 80’s I was watching Ace Buchanan pitch golf balls in the back yard at #7 station. Anyone who spent any considerable time at “The Home” could tell you that most of us had way too much time on our hands at one of the slowest stations in the city. I recall many of the guys doing strange things to waste away the days before and after the training sessions (which were VERY intense, by the way). I once heard a story from one of the guys about Greg Seney, who is now the Deputy of Vaughn, and how he spent some of his leisure time. It seems that Greg had a fly cemetery on the window sill next to the chair that he used to sit in. I suppose you need some sort of training if you’re going to end up as a Deputy Chief somewhere. This may have been part of the plan. Sort of like a prerequisite of some kind. Fly cemetery planning 101.

In any event I digress. When I saw Ace pitching the golf balls I noticed that his trunk lid was open and the keys were still in the trunk lid. If you can forecast what happened next I can start to see the smile coming across your face : ). Everyone was well aware just how gullible Ace could be at times. One story comes to mind is the tale of Ace driving a ladder truck and following the leaking engine’s booster tank water trail to a fire. Too bad it turned out to be a street cleaner doing its job.

I always carried my car keys with me and came up with a brilliant idea! Why not switch the keys in his trunk for mine!!! Simple enough, right? I secretly switched my keys for his and inserted one of the keys into the trunk lid while I put his in my pocket. I then asked if the keys in the trunk were his. With a look of disdain Ace just stared at me and decided that was a pretty stupid question; after all, it was HIS car. The plan so far was working just fine. I looked at him and said, “Well, I just wondered why you would leave your keys in the lock if you suddenly had a run and might forget them.” To which Ace intelligently replied, “That’s pretty dumb, Lodge... I’ll just grab the keys when I go back in the building and get on the engine.” “I suppose”, I answered. The trap was now set.

Looking at Ace I promptly said, “Well, what would happen if someone came and did THIS???” In one quick action I threw my keys into the trunk of his car and quickly slammed the trunk lid down!!! It seemed that there was a defining moment when time stopped as I saw the look on Ace’s face. It was NOT a good look. What I heard next was not Ace’s voice; but, rather something that I had never heard before. I was a bit surprised that his head didn’t do a spin on his shoulders like that girl in the movie The Exorcist.

At that moment I thought better of my plan and decided to end the fun right there. When I started to laugh Ace realized what had happened. His next statement was priceless, “Phew, I didn’t think you were that stupid!” To which I replied, “Well, it wasn’t ME who left the keys available, was it?”

I left quickly when his voice started to change again.