Ask Arp

Question: Why do people die in alphabetical order?
Arp: Because they are born that way.

Question: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
Arp: Because they all own phones

Question: When are you going to retire?
Arp: I think I will be like the flasher and stick it out one more year.

Question: What is the worst job you ever had?
Arp: One summer I tested rectal thermometers. I kind of enjoyed it after a while.

Question: What is the most exciting thing to happen to your family?
Arp: My uncle got a vasectomy and paid for it with his Mastercard. When he didn't pay his bill they came and knocked up his wife.